Relieve the Effects of Stressors by Draining Off Part of It

• Relaxation exercises
• Physical exercise

Stop Adding to It

• Increase your awareness of stress and its effects on you
  • Use a journal
  • Evaluate your habits
• Identify precipitating events and establish a plan for coping
  • Use a journal
  • Change one thing at a time

Change Your Thinking About Stressful Events

• Practice thought-stopping
• Change negative thoughts to positive, e.g., change I should to I want or I would like
• Make a want list . . . are these your wants?
• Stop trying to live up to everything you read, see and hear . . . learn to become comfortable with yourself; be kind and gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to fail
• Establish a positive strength list and post it

Stop Stirring It Up . . . Learn How To Worry

• List your worries
• Schedule a daily worry time (15 minutes)
• Contract not to worry at other times; practice thought-stopping
• Establish a set of comforting thoughts that works for you:
  • "I won't let them get me down."
  • "I do what I do because I like to do it."
  • "I will not should upon myself . . . enough others do it for me."

Attacking Daily Stressors

Begin by Organizing Yourself and Making Better Use of Your Time

• Pacing -- the art of controlling your tempo; stress comes from attempting to do too much
• Commitment -- be selective when saying "yes" . . . what good is "yes," if you can't say "no"?
• Valuing -- choose between alternatives so you feel committed to your decision
• Time Use -- learn to set priorities
• Personal Planning -- set goals and markers; avoid perfect standards

Change the Scene
Control what and who is surrounding you at any particular point in time and choose how you will respond to them.

• Assertiveness -- the art of saying "yes" and "no" in a direct, positive manner
• Aggressiveness -- the art of courteously expanding your territories
• Fight -- learning to stand your ground and change what's around you
• Flight -- the art of retreat . . . knowing when to leave or creating another setting to meet your needs
• Listening -- the art of empathy . . . carefully tuning into the feelings of others
• Contact -- the art of making friends and seeking supportive relationships
• Nest-Building -- the art of setting up living space and turning it into a home
• Strengthen your Vocational Qualifications -- people with strong qualifications experience less stress when crises come, because they have more options available to them

Change Your Mind
Take control of your attitude, use your beliefs and values to help yourself.

• Relabel -- the art of seeing a diamond-in-the-rough and the silver lining in every problem
• Surrender -- the art of saying good-bye, of letting go and closing some doors
• Faith -- the art of accepting your limits and choosing beliefs that will help you deal with the mystery and unknowable in your world
• Imagination -- the art of creativity and laughter, the ability to see the humor of life
• Whisper -- the art of talking to yourself and giving yourself quiet, positive messages; build and maintain an adequate sense of self-esteem and when you do experience a setback or defeat, re-establish your self-confidence by remembering past accomplishments

Body-Building

• Exercise -- the art of strengthening and fine-tuning your body
• Eating -- the fine art of feeding your body the building materials it needs to be strong and healthy
• Gentleness -- the art of wearing kid gloves and treating yourself kindly and softly
• Relaxation -- the art of cruising in neutral and of replenishing your energy; take sufficient vacations . . . a break is long enough, if one returns feeling rejuvenated as well as relaxed
• Regular Pattern -- the art of building a consistent rhythm to your life so your body can anticipate and prepare for the efforts you want it to make